The Language Blog:

Herein are the results of engaging in a conversation for fifteen minutes without speaking.  This test actually turned out to be pretty easy for me.  Primarily because my partner in this endeavor was my wife.  We have been married for more than twenty years.  She usually knows what I’m thinking before I do.  As for my being quiet for 15 minutes, well I think her thoughts were that we need to do this experiment more often.  My partner’s impression of the test was that little had changed.  She was able to answer questions like, “is this my coffee?” and “how long have we been married?” without missing a beat.  I was able to tell her that the ducks that visit our pool almost every day are here and that one of our pets wanted to come sit with us.  I was surprised how quickly the fifteen minutes passed.

How does a speaking culture that uses symbolic language view a culture that does not?  I think there is little doubt that symbolic language is considered a universal human attribute. Cultures without this basic attribute are considered to be something less. Historically societies with even a slight technological advantage have usually brutalized their fellow cultures.  Language is not just an adjunct to technology; it is itself a technology.

If my wife and I had been from two different cultures meeting for the first time the advantage of complex ideas would have been to her distinct advantage.  She retained the full use of all of her language faculties.  My communications were relegated to simple requests or well-worn, routine tasks.  If the ducks did not visit almost every day, I doubt that it could have communicated it effectively.  None of our non-verbal conversation was of a complex nature.

In our society when people are unable to communicate fluently with spoken language, complex thoughts and ideas are the first to go.  Simple concepts become the primary focus and even they can be a struggle.  This being said, I do know that the difference is not merely language.  There is also a huge cultural component.  When my wife and I went to China in 2007, I remember vividly walking down the street and acknowledging that I couldn’t even read a street sign.  Not a number, not a letter, nothing.  I remember searching for a pharmacy in an attempt to buy a “nasal decongestant spray.” Imagine the hand gestures and pantomime that accompanied that description.  When I later spoke to our guide about my unsuccessful attempt, he told me “we don’t use that type of product here.”  I can only imagine what they thought I wanted.  The cultural norms and experience of a people can cause even non-verbal and paraverbal communication to break down.

There are individuals who live in countries and do not speak that native tongue.  Often when communicating with these people, only the most simple concepts and basic communication are ever attempted.  When strictly simple concepts are associated with an experience it tends to reflect simplicity on its participants.  Within our spoken language we transmit, not just the usual intended message but an implicit understanding of our place within the context of the circumstance.   We are establishing an intellectual presence within each moment with our every word. 

  

In the second part of the experiment I was required to communicate for fifteen minutes without any physical embellishments. This test actually proved harder for us than the first.  Although I was able to speak, we found that we both communicate to a much greater extent using non-verbal and para-verbal elements.  These are the most important parts of our communication.  My test partner actually found this more difficult because she reads my facial expression and tone to interpret what I’m trying to communicate.  Nevertheless, this was also not that difficult.  I found that I was inclined to use more words than usual to try to explain my intent.  If my test partner had not been my wife, and didn’t know me as well as she does, this would have been much more difficult.  This experiment is a clear demonstration of the power of both non-verbal and para-verbal communication.

Are there people who have trouble reading body language?  Yes, most people on the autism spectrum have trouble reading body language.  These people often have difficulty in attributing mental states to others. This is thought to be one of the main reasons of their struggle to know how other people feel.  This has nothing to do with general mental ability.  These people can be academically intelligent, creative, and logical.  They struggle to read someone's body language because completely different brain functions are at work. 

Para-verbal and non-verbal communication is so important that it is hard to imagine a condition that could benefit from their absence.  This strikes me as looking for an advantage to being left in the dark.  It is possible that there could be temporary benefit when body language clues are misinterpreted and throw-off the verbal intent.  Some body language clues could be learned behaviors and so vary from culture to culture.  These could create confusion or a mixed message if misconstrued.  Most body language, however, is innate.  We can see the same postures, gestures and facial expressions across cultures. We see its harbingers in animals.  We can watch a video of a person who is mad or proud or happy or distraught, it doesn’t matter what language they speak or what culture they’re from.  The sound can be muted. We know what’s going on.